You likely know the feeling when you don’t feel at the top of your game and yet, the game around you just keeps feeding on you, with a vengence.
It can be your mental acuity, your physical capacities or your relationships. It can also be your social circle or your work that’s off. And if you factor in money problems, a lot can happen and it’s not good, at all.
Uncertainty, you see, is always around.
Even when things look up, you know, deep inside, even if you prefer not to think of it, that things could go bad, at any time and for no specific (or easily identifiable) reason. So you learn to live with uncertainty. There’s always a front where uncertainty can play a number on you. Health, relationships, work, money or anything else, really. Uncertainty is basically the only certain thing in this chronically uncertain world.
So, of course, we learn tricks to compensate uncertainty.
We pay for insurance, we make arrangements for just about anything, in advance, we plan, we preemptively things out and yet, uncertainty is still one proverbial chess move away from beating open our certainty fortress.
So much of our energy goes towards fighting against uncertainty.
Individually, as families, as communities and as societies. Each has its own set of uncertainties to content with, either as a pressing matter or an eventuality. Both take a toll.
So compensating brings temporary peace of mind. A sort of necessary relief to make sense of how huge of an impact uncertainty can have on us… on us all.
But compensating our way towards our idea of a “safe space” can only go so far. At some point, we all realize we need to stand up to uncertainty. And that’s so hard that many of us go through life without knowing how to do it. So this is my recipe to deal with uncertainty.
Dealing with uncertainty
In the case of uncertainty and my decision to finally deal with it, I’ve come to understand it’s too big a beast to bring down so by letting go of my expectations, I’ve lost the weight of the inevitable deceptions which accompanies them, thus reducing the size of the handle uncertainty had on me.
But that’s just step one because then comes the fundamental part of not being a victim, anymore.
Victimhood can be a comfortable place to be. People grant you privileges, I all shapes and forms, because you identify (and is perceived) as a victim (of someone or something, wether real, imagined or expected). But being a victim makes you a prime target for uncertainty because it paints a big red target on your back, so to speak. After all, if you’re already in the mindset for being a victim, why wouldn’t uncertainty have a field day with you?
So I decided to refuse being a victim, in any way, in my life.
I chose to own whatever entered my life.
Empowerment gutted out and spat out what was left of my victimhood mentality and reflexes.
What a glorious relief to know that even when I have nothing to do with something that entered my life, I at least own my control over what I do with it. That switches me into action a lot faster. I never wait for others to intervene. Whenever possible, I pounce. I own. I create my own reality. And doing that, I know uncertainty is having a harder time keeping up with my next move.
That’s patently liberating.
To not expect things as to not to be deceived and to never be a victim again are two of the most powerful and empowering ways I have found to deal with uncertainty.
Apply my method
I’ve tweaked so many things about my life.
Before, I was a victim of my agenda and I couldn’t find the time to take proper care of myself. Either resting, cooking food or following up on whatever matters, other than my family and work, in my life.
Taking control meant affording myself enough trust, towards myself and others, to exact an array of uncertainty-busting actions, on all fronts.
For instance, I seldom go to restaurants anymore. I know for a fact very little of what they sell is good for either my health or my wallet. Why would I accept continuing to be a victim of my old reflex to go there when the new me takes control on both the health and money fronts to ensure I have both instead of losing them, one expensive restaurant meal (or “junk meal”) at a time? Now, I cook. I’m nothing close to a star chef but I like eating what I toss around in my kitchen and whatever comes of my work is good for me. Or at least, countlessly better than most of what restaurants sell for profit (as opposed to what I cook up for my health… and my financial rebirth).
Moneywise, I create my path. Or at least, I create as much of it as I can.
That means when money comes in, I celebrate it. I feel grateful for it. I understand it’s going to help me realize something so I ensure that it helps me and not whoever else. It’s not selfish, it’s just common sense to have a house in order, regarding money matters.
I’m done with the happy-go-lucky money so-called experts telling me, through the media and otherwise, what to do with my money. Even though I’m a keen learner about everything money, I’m also the one who’s an expert… on me!
So as the “expert on me”, I feel absolutely empowered to create my financial reality, one decision at a time. Some bad, some good but always in full respect of my own capacity to decide. Or to say it another way, I’m making sure I’ll never go back to being a victim of too little money coming my way. At some level, I had created that reality for myself and to be quite frank, it sucked. A lot. A lot more than I could comprehend, at the time. So now, even though everything can’t be honey and sunshine, I feel like I have that even-present fighting chance against uncertainty over money because I own, I decide and I create (my reality, financial and otherwise).
Imagine not having to expect things to go your way and then having to back-peddle because uncertainty snapped back at you from an unforeseen angle. Imagine not expecting things but rather being solidly rooted in your every instant to take the decisions needed for you to be the creator of whatever “is” your life.
You’ll keep getting curve ball, rest assured but knowing you’re going to be creating instead of victimizing over them, if and when they happen, should be enough to provide you with that fighting chance you’re typically unable to see in that (previous) period of your life when uncertainty “is the master of you”.
Make it your statement. In capital letters. Big enough that “uncertainty”, if it had eyes to see could end up being blinded by the flashing neon lights. Something along the line of “uncertainty, you can swing me anything you may but whatever it is, I’ll create around, over, beyond and past it”.
Be clear about your resolve, now or whenever you feel you “get it”, to create your life and that, in and of itself, means you’ll never be a victim again. And as such, uncertainty will become just another variable in your creation instead of being the unsurmountable catastrophe of your self-accepted victimhood.
Victimhood might be good sometimes but overall, it’s a poison.
Get rid of it.
Victimhood is a proverbial barn door uncertainty is looking for to enter your life with a bang. So get rid of the barn door and force uncertainty to enter your life through the tiniest door. A door you have created, with the utmost respect for yourself and the instant you’re owning, on as many of your own terms as possible.
You’ll always have to compromise, that’s the nature of our experience, here. But the fact that you’ve decided to be a creator (and not a victim) will confound uncertainty at almost every turn. Even if you don’t end up “owning” all of it, you’ll “own” a lot more of your life than if you had stayed a victim.
When you get there and you might already be there, you know you can breathe much better and there’s no way going back to being a victim could ever be an option. Once you’re out of the uncertainty-dominated matrix, you discover a creator-centric one where you create and all else falls into place.
Doesn’t that sound better than being a victim of uncertainty?
Remember: be your own creator, in your own life, one glorious moment at a time.